Foreigners Regional Registration Office

Today we had our trip to the Foreigners Regional Registration Office. We arrived at about 10.30 and joined a queue – which – since everyone was seated on a line of chairs was a bit like musical chairs as each person moved up a chair every time someone was called.

Once at the head of the queue an official had a brief look at our heaps of papers and then took us to wait in another room.

Here we waited until another little man summoned us to wait in another room and another game of musical chairs – except this time it was on a couch.

Eventually I was summoned to see an official – who thumbed through the papers for about five minutes, signed something, and sent me off with a numbered token back to another queue in the first room. Here an official looked at my papers, signed something, and sent me on my way to yet another room to wait for Counter 4.

Counter 4 – something like Building Society Queues – had a digital counter above it. There I sat and waited for my number to come up before realising it wasn’t being used. So I went to the front row before the official summoned me, looked at and kept my heap of papers and gave me a slip saying come back at 2.00pm next week.

And so after over two hours we finally escaped.

Till next week!

More places to live

Went to look at another apartment yesterday morning. It was a one bedroom fully serviced flat and the owner – who clearly wants to be my next best friend – includes internet, breakfast, washing and an evening meal in the price. It looks like the best offer so far and is within budget so I will probably take it. It is also near shopping malls and International Hotels so I might be able to do a deal with one of the hotels to get some swimming in.

The flat owner then took me on a tour round Chennai in his SUV. I saw the beach close up for the first time – a vast area of sand with the sea somewhere over the horizon. Not a lot of shade to be had there either.

We also took a brief look at St George’s Cathedral – which is probably not even as big as Selby Abbey. It looked quite spacious but there wasn’t any information visible as to whether anything goes on there.

I got back about 1’o clock and had the hotel “brunch”. They had a keyboard player and saxophonist – who wanted to know who I was and the usual questions as I was sat near where they were playing. I made the mistake of mentioning I have a saxophone – so they tried to get me to play – but I managed to refuse. Nevertheless they played Baker Street, Summertime and Feelings for me and promised to get me next time!

Musical Note

I bought the saxophone ten years ago – had about three months attempting to teach myself and then the company sent me off abroad.

I could probably do Streets of London or Strangers in the night if I had the music – but preferably not in public until have had some practice.

I also have a clarinet – which I bought in 2003 and spent a year teaching myself when in China. I’d probably fare a bit better with that – but again I’ve hardly touched it since 2004 – so public performance is out of the question – for now.

Places to live?

Went to look at apartments today. A nice little lady took me in an enormous 4X4 SUV to look at various places in Chennai. Once we hit traffic I realised why she drives such a thing – at about 3.30 – when all the kids leave school – the traffic is utter bedlam and this is the only way to bulldoze through it. What with all the tuk tuks, motorbikes and honking of horns it makes Bangkok seem like an English country lane (albeit stuck behind a tractor).

I looked at about four places – the first was probably the best – a two bedroom self service place with fridge & cooking area – but it might be a bit out of budget.

Didn’t fancy next place – had a second hand MFI air to it and was down a very busy lane. The inside cabinet with bells on it for “the gods” rather put me off.

Next place – by Shanti Builders (what a name!) wasn’t finished yet. It would all be finished in about two weeks they said – it was an enormous place with about three bedrooms & bathrooms on a 5th floor. Not sure though if I want somewhere that new and untested.

The last place was a one bedroom self service place – Le Grande – not bad and can probably get it within budget.

Will have to see what our HR people come up with tomorrow – I’m fairly sure that this being Asia the “best offer” is probably the best offer until the next one has been negotiated.

The amazing thing though is the cost – wherever I live it’s going to cost over £1,200 per month!

Touchdown in India

Yesterday was another of those odd days – up about 11, race off to Greg’s for a full English breakfast, down to beach to say goodbye to deckchair minders, then finish packing and taxi to Bangkok Airport. In the old days of Don Muang Airport the journey meant crossing Bangkok – and could take four or five hours. Now with the new airport to the south east of Bangkok it’s about one and a half hours.

With little queues I arrive 18.15 and was checked through by 18.30.

The flight was due to fly 21.15 – but we didn’t board till 21.20. Still, we were airborne about 21.50. Over the Bay of Bengal we had some turbulence that seriously tested the nerves. Touchdown Chennai 23.20.

Leaving the plane was quite a scramble – then there was a queue to pass over a form certifying one hadn’t got swine flu.

There was then a queue at immigration – and another one for some other chap to look at your passport before leaving Immigration. Moving on there was a queue to enter the baggage reclaim – you and your hand baggage had to pass metal detectors. My luggage took about an hour to arrive – there was then a queue to leave. Thankfully my hotel pick up was waiting – and I reached my hotel about 1. After check in and luggage delivery I got to bed at 1.40.


Today was my first day in the office. To be honest not a lot happened – the HR people supposed to induct me weren’t here – and it took a morning for me to get a phone and a PC that worked – though at rather less than the speed of a slug.

Still, the journey back to the hotel in a tuk tuk was suitably exciting as busses to the right and motorbikes to the left bellowed and thundered.

After all that a swim in the hotel pool and a nice long shower.

One day down.

589 to go?

The Beach

Pattaya Beach has its critics – but I like it.

For me nothing quite beats a good English Breakfast (at Greg’s Kitchen on Pattaya 2 Road) then an afternoon sat in a deck chair on the beach either sleeping off the breakfast or catching up on the news from The Economist or New Statesman.

True, you do get a fair number of people trying to sell you things – lucky charms, pirate CDs & DVDs, fake watches, T-shirts, sunglasses and the odd wooden elephant – but that’s all part of the fun.

More useful ones sell ice creams or buckets of roasted prawns. You can get a relaxing massage – or – for the ladies – your hair beaded (though I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone does – the style didn’t even suit Bo Derek in my opinion!)

It can be a bit exposed if the rain comes down – I’ve had my share of huddling beneath an umbrella as Beach Road turns into a river – but if you stick with one deckchair vendor they will do their best to keep you dry.

Thankfully there hasn’t been any rain this week so I’ve been able to relax and clear my head in preparation for my forthcoming adventure.

And the prospect of another beach trip in a couple of months should help to sustain me.

Food cravings

My favourite Thai dishes are probably Tom Yam Kung (spicy prawn soup), Green Chicken Curry, and various types of fried rice as well as chicken & cashew nuts. When working in Thailand I’d generally eat Thai food four or five evenings a week – and western food the rest. I can’t live without the occasional pork chop or fried fish.

Back when working in Kuala Lumpur in 1999 I found I was eating Halal food all the time. My favourite dish there is a beef rending – a traditional Malay dish.

However, excellent though it all was it meant I wasn’t getting any bacon & eggs or pork chops. They do something called beef bacon – and chicken sausages – but to me the only animal worth converting into bacon or sausages has to be the pig. After all, the Vikings believed that pork was the meat of the gods - on which the heroes in Valhalla feast as they are served mead in the skulls of their enemies.

Absence of the real thing made the heart grow fonder - until eventually I booked myself a weekend in Phuket.

And what’s the first thing on the menu? Mixed grill at an English Restaurant.

It seems silly to be flying from Malaysia to Thailand in order to get English food – but sometimes you just have to do what it takes else the craving gets too much.

Wan

Yesterday I mentioned that Noi had a partner as bass guitarist with whom he often quarelled. His name is Wan.

Wan is an easy come easy go happy go lucky sort who is happy to talk to anyone and cadge a beer off them. His problem was he became too adept at the cadging of beers - and has been somewhat unreliable as a result.

I hadn't seen much of him recently as Noi had replaced him for a more reliable guitarist - though Wan would occassionally turn up at the bar and cadge beer off folk who remembered him.

Last night he was back - seemingly a bit more sober - and back singing with the band. Back in the days of just the two of them he and Noi shared the singing - I have no idea how they decided on the split but Wan always did Hotel California, Whiskey in the Jar, and Paranoid - even if he sometimes couldn't remember the words (which in the case of Paranoid makes it more authentic!).

Whether Wan will stay - or the boss (Noi's widow - the real power in the place) will let him I can't say.

I hope he does. And despite the quarels he and Noi were friends. It was good to see him and hear at least half the partnership that I first heard back in 1991.

I could not forsee this thing

Back in 1991 just after the start of my first tour of duty in Thailand after a “team building event” I set foot for the first time in the Natalee Bar. It had lots of bar girls attempting to sell their wares, a life-size portrait of Steve Davies, and two blokes on guitars with a drum machine.

It was the blokes playing guitars that interested me most – there was a certain raw quality to the music as they rattled off the classics – Jumpin Jack Flash – Runaway – Hotel California – and Stairway to Heaven. It felt alive in a way that the hotel bands were not.

The owner of the bar – a chap called Noi – turned out to be the lead guitarist. He spoke a degree of English – he’d been to England in the 50’s when it was still bomb damaged – and was reasonably well off. He could be quite cantankerous – but he was his own man. He played the music he wanted to – and wasn’t prepared to play stuff if he wasn’t 100% sure he was OK with it.

There was just something about his voice – the result no doubt of years of drink and cigarettes – that gave his singing an edge. And he wasn’t afraid to embellish – many a time we’d get “All along the Watchtower – a song by Bob Dylan, played by Jimi Hendrix – now sung by me” (and far superior to Hendrix it was too!)

I left Thailand in 1992 – and didn’t return to Pattaya till 2000. I went to “Central” – but the bar was gone – just a load of ordinary bars playing wrap music and other such stuff.

Two months later I found him – the bar had moved to a much bigger location – and instead of drum machine now had a drum set and drummer. Not that Noi couldn’t play drums when he decided to. He also had an assortment of second guitarists – as well as his original bass guitarist – with whom he constantly quarrelled.

Come 2005 he vanished again. The land was taken over by a massive shopping mall and demolished. Six months later he reappeared - a smaller space – into which were crammed three guitarists, a drummer and a keyboard player. His repertoire had also expanded – he was now playing my favourite Stones song – Paint it Black.

Last year in October I came to Pattaya to celebrate my 50th birthday. He played all the rock and roll stuff I like – and (though he liked it) not once did he play anything by Oasis (as he knew I don’t like them). “See you next time” he said as I left at the end of October.

I returned to Pattaya last night. He wasn’t there. I thought maybe he was going to turn up later – the rest of the band was playing as usual.

But Noi isn’t going to turn up later. Not ever. Noi died two weeks ago. Age 58.

Somehow he knew what I liked in music – and got pleasure from delivering it. Awkward, quarrelsome, self centred – he was all of these things. He was also the most talented guitar player I’ve ever known.

And – he was my friend. The bar and the music will go on. But it won’t be the same. It never is. And I’ll miss him.


No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue,
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

Mick Jagger & Keith Richards – Paint it Black

Leaving the country

Not having had a break this year I decided to take a week in Thailand on holiday on my way to India. So I finished work in the UK last week and started to get ready

Saturday was a strange day of packing, clearing and trying to consume all that's left in the fridge. As well as parting with my beloved Peugeot 206cc.

It's not so much what to pack as what to leave. And where to put what you are leaving!

Sunday saw me eating almost the last of the fridge contents - three eggs, bacon, sausages and a pint of Tanglefoot Ale for lunch.

After that the interminable wait until a friend took me to the airport. Once there the autopilot takes over - check in - get into the lounge - get the bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey at Duty Free - catch the plane. Found myself say next to an ex policeman who has titanium kneecaps and a Thai wife.

The flight went OK - even touched down half hour early - and so I've just checked into the hotel.

Next priority will be a haircut, maybe a foot massage, some green chicken curry and then some live music before bed.